Searching for the matriarchs departure lounge

July 19, 2021 â€" 9.00pm

“Having read Granny’s column since the early 1960s, I was contemplating that I had only read of a couple of Grannies being identified by name over that time,” writes Seppo Ranki of Glenhaven. “So what happens to former Grannies after they have done their stint on C8? Do they come back as contributors with inside knowledge, or do they have to sign a non-compete agreement to protect us mere mortals?” I could tell you, Seppo. But then, I’d have to kill you.

Bob Phillips of Cabarita is the latest to contribute to Viv Munter’s “You Know You’re in Extended Lockdown When ...” (C8): “You know you‘re in extended lockdown when you think that your home-haircut looks perfectly fine. My advice is to go early and go hard so there is time for it to grow out.” Adrian Connelly of Springwood adds: “You know you’re in extended lockdown when you look forward to a dental appointment only to feel thwarted when it’s cancelled. Dis-appointed, you might say.”

“Mention of Ruth Park’s Muddle-Headed Wombat in the Moir cartoon last Saturday sparked fond memories,” says Maggie Ramsay of Woolloomooloo. “My father published children’s books and as a seven-year-old, I was part of the birth of the Muddle-Headed Wombat. I was called on as a focus group of one to approve both text and illustrations. Now that really does date me.”

Peter Johnson’s big band (C8) is getting bigger. Here are the key members: Melody Lyne and Harmon Ising on vocals, from Mickey Pragnell of Kiama; Kiwi Bro Ken String on guitar, from Ruth Hutchinson of Saratoga; Tim Pani and Tim Bali on percussion, from Joy Cooksey of Harrington. The manager is Robin Gitt, according to David McKay of Blaxland.

“Edamn! Unfettad buying of dairy (C8) has scared the becheeses out of people,” reckons Les Shearman of Darlington.

When Maureen Brown of Armidale takes her daily walk, her preferred route includes the Armidale cemetery. “I was surprised to find that one now has to use a QR code to access the site. I was even more anxious than usual to make sure I checked out.” Grave times indeed.

“Has anyone else noticed the disconnect between the increasingly popular automotive genre of hyper-ute and the lack of interest by the owners in actually carrying a load?” asks Scott Illingworth of Kiama. “My extensive research shows them always to be empty.”

Column8@smh.com.au

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